I've never liked my name. I've always had a problem with it, often for opposing reasons. When I lived in the UK I hated my name because I didn't share it with anyone else. I was always jealous of peers who happened to share the same name. It made me feel even more like I didn't belong, which I felt already because I was American and my parents had American accents. When we moved to the US, the opposite was true--suddenly there were lots of girls that shared my name, and that fucking sucked, too! My name is so common that there was hardly a year when I didn't share a classroom at least some of the time with at least one girl who had the same name. And usually a boy who had the same name's masculine variation.
The name never suited me, either. I don't even like how it sounds. No matter what accent says it, I hate it. And it isn't even a name from which you can take an abbreviation or a nickname or diminutive. It's just... there. And I hate it.
I used to really want to change it as soon as I was old enough to do so, but by now I've lost interest in doing that. I don't hate my name any less than I once did, I'm just too lazy to want to go through the whole process and in the end it'll be more trouble than it's worth to try and adapt people who know me by this one to calling me something else.
It seems like I put up with a lot of shit I don't like out of a total unwillingness to make any effort to fix it.
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