HIDE ME

As big a wimp as I am, I'm not typically afraid of other people. My fears tend to be relegated almost exclusively to things that, statistically speaking, are less likely to pose a legitimate threat to me than lightning or killer bees. I used to fight all the fucking time in high school and still have brawler's tendencies so I know I'm both physically and morally able to thrash the fuck out of another person. Naturally I don't pick fights with people quite as much as an adult, but there isn't very much question in my mind regarding whether or not I could hold my own in a fight if it came down to having to defend myself.

So in the even I do get scared of another person, it's usually because that person is about as dangerous as Charles Manson. (Incidentally, we tend to think of Manson as this big scary spectre of a serial murderer and an imposing, intimidating person and he has such a huge and manipulative personality that he really is like that--but most people don't realize that Charles Manson is an extremely shrimpy little guy. He's just 5'2" and at the time of his arrest weighed less than 130 pounds--not very much bigger than I am.) Suffice to say, when someone scares me they are fucking scary.

My boyfriend's ex scares me.

You know how people say that looks can kill? When I met this chick I wasn't even dating him and the look she gave me was still so withering and scary that it would not only have reduced me to a little greasy spot on the road but would have obliterated everything around me for two hundred yards. I have never received such a vaporizing look. She isn't big. She's my size. She's not tattooed or pierced or wielding a machete or anything else that would make her stand out in a crowd as a threat. But god damn if she doesn't scare the fuck out of me. I have every reason to assume that she has a little doll that looks like me in her bedroom and spends a little while each day whacking it with a hatchet. I don't hide behind people, but I will hide behind Max until she goes away. Sometimes she doesn't. When that happens I more or less just climb onto his head and cling for dear life.

I figure if he slips a disc it'll still be less painful than whatever it is his ex wants to do to me.

They would probably never even find the body.

.