it had to be done

As much as I live on comedy the way other people live on food and water, I have never been a prankster. I enjoy occasionally watching really clever and well-staged pranks orchestrated by other people (like the annual worldwide mass-public-prank 'No Pants! Subway Ride' and pretty much everything else the Improv Everywhere group does), but I don't get any enjoyment out of doing it myself. Successful pranks are hard work and there isn't a whole lot of room for me to giggle when I'm inevitably stressed by the eight thousand different perfectly-timed and coordinating steps that will ultimately end in essentially a glorified metaphorical prat fall.

And also I'm chickenshit. I'm terrified of getting caught by a less-than-good sport.

But every now and then I'll come across a potential prank that's basically just presenting itself to me in a provocative manner and that I would be an idiot not to do.

Bored in an art class one day in high school, I amused myself with the old 'fake-skin-made-of-dried-Elmer's-glue' on the palm of my hand. I got bored with that so I decided for no real reason to do it on the underside of my forearm right near the elbow. That way I could use my hands while it tried. The glue tried but by then I had found something to do so I didn't peel it off before the bell rang. I just threw my hoodie back on and went to my next class.

In the next class there was a substitute.

I sat in the front row of this class.

This was an opportunity that could not be missed.

I scratched at my elbow through my shirt a bit, like I was annoyed by a persistent itch. I frowned like I was trying to ignore it but was too annoyed by the itching. Eventually I rolled up my sleeve, still prodding at the 'itchy' area and scratching it. Then I carefully picked at the edge of the fake skin, again like I was scratching, and casually peeled it off.

I thought the sub was going to faint or throw up.

She asked me if I wanted to go to the nurse.

I told her no thanks, that it looked like I'd managed to just pick off the afflicted area and I'm sure it won't get gangrene this time.