Tuesday, March 20, 2012

if the shoe fits...

Who decided that dress shoes for women would be various permutations of the sandal, and when was it decided? Because I would like to go back in time and beat them to death with a hammer.

I fucking hate sandals. Mostly I just hate feet. Feet are gross. Only a few people have feet that aren't disgusting to look at with crusty nails and fungus and cracks and red splotches and toe lint--way fewer than the number of people who wear fucking sandals everywhere. Which is pretty much everybody except me. I look at the women's shoe sections of stores during spring, summer, and most of fall and find nothing but fucking SANDALS. For some reason they are actually starting to piss me off just by looking at them hanging up in displays. Just... why is this the default? Why do we all have to be subjected to this?

Look, I have a wedding to go to. I literally have no fucking idea where to find shoes that aren't sandals. Do a search for 'women's dress shoes' and you will get nothing but page after page of open shoes. Sandals and shit.

ENOUGH WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING SANDALS.

Cover your goddamn feet you assholes. They are repulsive. I don't want to see them. And I don't want to walk about showing mine off, either.

Fuckheads.

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