..wait, what?

On today's episode of 'Shit My Boyfriend Says'...

Me: "Actually, it was pretty awesome and I couldn't believe it finally happened. I guess it was like... I dunno, imagine how you felt the first time your saw a pair of naked tits in person."
Him: "I don't want to, they were my sister's."

I felt like bragging...

This is fucking hilarious. And something about which I believe both of us are entitled to brag. Also I intend to bring this up for the rest of his natural life--just like bringing up that he once wore pleather pants in public.

Boyfriend: "I ripped my pants last night."
Me: "How'd you manage that?"
Boyfriend: "I got a hard-on in my sleep and it ripped them."

S#!t my Boyfriend Says

We both value comedy and our senses of humour are a big draw for each of us. But we don't constantly bandy around obvious jokes. I'm the grand master of subtle comedy. Sometimes he gets a good one in, as well.

Today my boyfriend said...

(In the last few months I've found articles on scientists designing a robot that makes sandwiches and a robot that runs on human waste.)

Me: "WHY DO WE NEED THESE THINGS? THERE ARE OTHER PROBLEMS TO SORT OUT!"
Him: "Why not? That way you can have a sandwich-making robot that runs on the shit you make."