Baseball and football are pretty American cultural pillars. Other sports are more popular elsewhere. I lived in a small farming village in northern England for several years as a child so happily my early life was free of the obsessive zeal Americans have towards their sports--Europeans have other sporting addictions, principally soccer, but it isn't quite as culturally pervasive. It doesn't seep into everything with quite the same fervor, nor is it treated like some kind of sacred belief. Nobody gave a fuck if you didn't care about it. American sports mania was kind of a culture shock for me.
Shortly after moving to the states, the Superbowl came to what I assume was some kind of historic showdown between the Dallas Cowboys and Pittsburgh Steelers--it was a big deal, even though I didn't know then and still don't know why. Suddenly everyone in school was talking about it nonstop and doing so on a level of comfortable familiarity that made me simultaneously really confused and really bored and really frustrated. Why did everybody care so much? What was the big deal? It was a stupid fucking sport's game and I have no interest in sports, I have no idea who plays what, and am neither interested in nor capable of providing opinions on the matter. Yet it was like some kind of preoccupational plague. In one particular incident that stands out in my mind, the kids around me in the lunch queue chatted amiably with the school principal--not ordinarily an overtly talkative or friendly guy--about who they thought would win and who they wanted to win. It was mind-boggling. The frustration was due to nobody wanting to discuss anything else as well as being labelled some kind of pariah over not giving a shit.
I didn't care about it.
I still don't.
It's still just as frustrating and mystifying to me that this sport-related zeal overtakes the population at the end of sport seasons. My parents had serious fallouts with otherwise good friends over the 2000 Yankees/Red Sox World Series. Over a fucking game. My dad became murderously angry when his teams failed to perform to his expectations. (I don't say that his mood depended on their victories--he's a Green Bay fan and I know enough about them to know they're not a good team.) Some famous coach took over the Washington Redskin football team when I was a senior in high school and it was all anyone could talk about. That I had no opinion and didn't care marked me out as almost a terrorist. I wish I was exaggerating. People honestly treat it like religious fanatics treat denominational differences--often with enough passionate opinions to somehow justify getting legitimately angry when a friend or family member dares to enjoy any other team. Or, worse, a RIVAL team. A woman in the store a few months ago was talking about her son's preference in NY football teams (I don't know which) in a tone of voice that clearly betrayed high emotional strain. This kind of disowning would be excessive for the loved ones of Ted Bundy. People routinely do it over superficial sport rivalries.
Over the years I've learned to tune it out but every now and then it just takes on a complete cultural saturation that's impossible to ignore and has far-reaching effects on my acceptance within a community.
Since I don't watch any sport I have no idea which games are in season at any given time, or when they have their big playoffs. I know the Superbowl is usually the beginning of the year but I never have the faintest idea when because I literally do not give enough of a fuck to remember. So I only found out it was nearly that time in the last few weeks, and then only because nobody could stop talking about the New York Giants. People have been going nuts talking about Giants. People call daily asking about clothing with the Giants logo. Poeple talk with me about it like I understand them and demand to know my affiliation and opinion. I'm genuinely shunned or treated coldly when I reveal a total lack of interest.
I don't know who's playing what. I don't care which teams go to which games. I don't care who wins. I don't plan on just humouring sport fans by going to a Superbowl party at which I will have zero interest in the main attraction. I don't even watch the big games for the famously complicated Superbowl ads. I do not fucking care. Stop talking to me about it. And stop treating me like shit because I don't have a fanatical obsession with brain-damaged overgrown steroid-pumped high school jocks in shoulder pads and tights who get paid more money per game than I make in a year.
Just knock it the fuck off and leave me alone.
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