So, I moved almost a year ago (as of April) and have lived in New York--HIPSTER CENTRAL!!--for all that time without seeing a really impressive specimen in the wild. I mean I see kids in high school and the college campuses exhibiting certain hipster traits or sporting certain hipster fashions--bragging about obscure bands they're into, berets, skinny jeans, plaid tight shirts, big glasses, thrifted clothes, fixed-gear bikes--but never really saw any full-blown classic HIPSTER in person. Probably because this is the suburbs and kids don't go totally hipster here for the same reason they rarely go totally goth. It's just not done here in White Bread, Long Island. (This is like the whitest white place I have ever been. Even the ethnic minorities are whiter than I am.) You're not going to hit every bullseye every time you see someone who identifies as 'hipster', of course, but you've gotta hit more than just one or two at a time in order to really be considered a prime specimen worthy of study.
On that note, imagine my joy today when three wild lady-hipsters appeared at work. They were truly glorious. The one who came to my till was wearing a homemade tour t-shirt written in acid green sharpie on a clearly salvaged old men's undershirt (because screened tees are so mainstream, right?). I only knew it was a band because of the tour dates and cities listed on the back because I had never heard of the band before and the name was so fucking weird I thought it was completely made up. I googled it. Apparently it exists. It's called--I swear to fuck--'A Cat Born in an Oven Isn't a Cake'. My brain is full of fuck.
She also had: men's jeans, mismatched red and black Converse high tops, gauged earlobes big enough to drive a moped through, and Buddy Holly glasses without lenses.
It was glorious. Wild specimens just aren't on the same level as the bland photos you see on the internet.
I wanted to sedate her and tag her for tracking.
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