Stop pretending to be Irish--or squeezing the tiniest shred of Irish ancestry from your distant familial past--just because it's almost Saint Patrick's Day. I'm more Irish than you are and I've never even been there. You know fuck all about Ireland. Or Saint Patrick.
Listen up, you obnoxious Anglophiles: Saint Patrick wasn't even Irish. He was the WELSH son of a ROMAN general and his ENGLISH wife. He never set foot in Ireland until he was sixteen years old, and even then it was because he'd been kidnapped by Irish pirates.
You're welcome.
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