bad, but not bad enough

I could probably write an entire encyclopaedia about the various things and behaviours and misbehaviours in life that annoy the crap out of me, and an entire volume would probably have to be dedicated to that certain awkward set of obnoxiousness that's definitely annoying enough to drive you nuts if you're around someone doing it, but not so annoying that you're justified telling a total stranger to knock that shit off. You're left barely able to tolerate it (especially bad if you're, say, in an airplane or some other confined space where you can't get up and leave) and can't tune it out, but you can't make yourself believe it would be anything but a total dick move to hit the offender with your shoe.

Like this. This is annoying enough to be a big problem, but not something you can call a total stranger out on.

In a queue, or an elevator, or some other place where a group of people have to stand still and close together and wait for a bit, there's nothing quite as awkward as being next to somebody who has just let loose a chemical-warfare-calibur fart. The kind you could use to strip wallpaper. My eyes were watering and I knew which guy had done it but it's not something bad enough to excuse you yelling, "HOLY FUCK, MISTER, DID SOMETHING DIE UP THERE??"

You know what should still be appropriate for adults? Time-outs. It seems like, in the adult world, you have only two options for dealing with a problem--you can take it extremely seriously, which requires you to act responsibly and report it to the proper authorities or act irresponsibly and commit property damage against them. The only other alternative is to ignore it. I mean there really aren't any other choices than those. But we need more than just those options. Why not send people to a time-out?

"NO FARTING IN AN ELEVATOR--GO SIT IN THE CORNER UNTIL YOU LEARN TO TIGHTEN YOUR SPHINCTER MORE EFFECTIVELY!!"

"YOU DROVE FROM TALLAHASSEE TO FORT DIX WITH YOUR LEFT TURN SIGNAL ON. SIT IN THIS CHAIR AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID!"

"IT IS NOT APPROPRIATE TO ANSWER YOUR CELL PHONE AT A FUNERAL. GO FACE THE WALL UNTIL YOU CAN APOLOGIZE!"

It seems like a good idea to me, but then again I also think it's a good idea to go out in public wearing a kilt so maybe I'm not the most objective gauge of these things.