(27 Dec. 2011)
Apparently when you spend three days nonstop throwing up and get so bad you actually throw up in your lap in the car because you know you can't make it home, it turns out you get really dehydrated. And then you faint. And then your grandpa takes you to the emergency room whether you like it or not and you have to miss two days of work and they get REALLY mad at you but can't bitch your grandpa out over the phone from the ER.
Still not 100% but at least my lap is safe.
Also really fucking annoying: people who get dogs that act COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY than that breed is known to act. (And I'm talking about shit that everyone, even non-dog-people, know--like that terriers are live-wires and boxers need to run a lot.) That in and of itself is not annoying, though. What's annoying is that, twelve years later when this dog dies, the owners get another of the same breed expecting the same freak of nature a second time and are just SHOCKED AS ALL FUCK that they got a normal one.
I DO NOT CARE THAT YOU HAD A CHOW-CHOW WHO WAS A BUNDLE OF LOVE TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD. I DON'T CARE THAT YOU HAD A QUIET POODLE. I DON'T CARE THAT YOUR JACK RUSSEL TERRIER WAS A LAZY BEAST WHO LIKED TO SLEEP A LOT. NOR DO I CARE ABOUT YOUR LABRADOR WHO DIDN'T LIKE TO PLAY FETCH. YOU HAVE A NORMAL CHOW-CHOW OR POODLE OR JACK RUSSEL OR LABRADOR NOW, THIS IS HOW THEY ACT, FUCKING GET USED TO IT OR DO YOUR MOTHERFUCKING HOMEWORK NEXT TIME.
Seriously. I cannot tell you how many times this has happened. Right now I'm dogsitting two shelties that are just as loud as can possibly be JUST LIKE SHELTIES ARE but their owners were all agog because the last dog they had was super quiet. It's always some permutation of the same excuse: "GEE GOLLY GOSH, SCHMOOPSIE-DOO NEVER ACTED LIKE THIS IN THE NINETY YEARS WE HAD HER, TEHRE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS ONE!!"
NO, your Schmoopsie-Doo was a FUCKING WEIRDO. This is how these dogs act, you moron.
Still not 100% but at least my lap is safe.
Also really fucking annoying: people who get dogs that act COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY than that breed is known to act. (And I'm talking about shit that everyone, even non-dog-people, know--like that terriers are live-wires and boxers need to run a lot.) That in and of itself is not annoying, though. What's annoying is that, twelve years later when this dog dies, the owners get another of the same breed expecting the same freak of nature a second time and are just SHOCKED AS ALL FUCK that they got a normal one.
I DO NOT CARE THAT YOU HAD A CHOW-CHOW WHO WAS A BUNDLE OF LOVE TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD. I DON'T CARE THAT YOU HAD A QUIET POODLE. I DON'T CARE THAT YOUR JACK RUSSEL TERRIER WAS A LAZY BEAST WHO LIKED TO SLEEP A LOT. NOR DO I CARE ABOUT YOUR LABRADOR WHO DIDN'T LIKE TO PLAY FETCH. YOU HAVE A NORMAL CHOW-CHOW OR POODLE OR JACK RUSSEL OR LABRADOR NOW, THIS IS HOW THEY ACT, FUCKING GET USED TO IT OR DO YOUR MOTHERFUCKING HOMEWORK NEXT TIME.
Seriously. I cannot tell you how many times this has happened. Right now I'm dogsitting two shelties that are just as loud as can possibly be JUST LIKE SHELTIES ARE but their owners were all agog because the last dog they had was super quiet. It's always some permutation of the same excuse: "GEE GOLLY GOSH, SCHMOOPSIE-DOO NEVER ACTED LIKE THIS IN THE NINETY YEARS WE HAD HER, TEHRE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS ONE!!"
NO, your Schmoopsie-Doo was a FUCKING WEIRDO. This is how these dogs act, you moron.
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